The Ponicorn Update: In really simple terms

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“I’ve been busy” It’s like a grown up blogger’s mantra. “I’ve been busy. Busy. Busy. B-U-S-Y’ and time is never enough and all that, things happen. We grow and suddenly there’s no time for anything, or exhaustion takes over our beings and we’re drowning on a sea of commitments and things to do.

Or so is how I feel.

Ice Cream Cones

 

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I know Elizabethtown is really problematic and all, and it perpetuates the Manic-Pixie Dream Girl and it’s even considered by some to be the worst movie ever made. But I Like it. I actually like the movie a lot. Maybe it’s because it mentions the main character’s father passing away, and maybe I watched it around the time my grandmother disease was starting to become more noticeable, and I could, kind of, relate to the plot. But I love it.

One of the quotes I love the most about the movie is the following

Drew – You’re kind of great, Claire.  You do know that. Sort of amazing, even.
Claire – Oh, come on! I don’t need an ice cream cone.
Drew – It’s not an ice cream cone. What’s an ice cream cone?
Claire – You know. “Here’s a little something to make you happy. Something sweet that melts in five minutes.”

Ice cream cones.

So, in lieu of me being an adult, being all grown up and -of course- busy. Here, my friends, you have an Ice cream Cone.

The Ponicorn Update: In Really Simple Terms (But trying to make it as appealing as possible)

Making: Websites for independent clients I’m working with, as well as new websites for myself.
Cooking: I’m planning on baking cookies soon actually.
Drinking: water, plain water..
Reading: Armada – Ernest Cline. I found the book and asked my boyfriend if he wanted to read it together, so we’re there.
Wanting: to sleep. Last night it was a long night, i couldn’t sleep until past 3 am.
Looking: At planner stuff. I know I’m going through a kind of no-spend on planner things, but I have a lot of plans.
Playing: As everyone else is, Pokemon Go. I’m part of the red team. <3
Wishing: I had more time to sleep this morning. I’m literally a walking zombie.
Enjoying: thoughts and tumblr posts.
Waiting: for my laundry to finish
Watching: I’m supposed to be watching Gilmore Girls, but I’m kind of back on Avatar: The Legend of Aang.
Liking: The new Gandhi bookmarks, they’re really pretty.
Wondering: How things are going to be like in January
Loving: Chewbacca right this second.
Hoping: That I can achieve certain things I have in mind for this monday
Needing: time
Smelling: vanilla. particularly Vanilla ice-cream.
Wearing: a t-shirt
Noticing: it’s getting dark, and I didn’t expect it to be so late.
Knowing: amounts and quantities I need to work on.
Thinking: About tomorrow
Feeling: still a bit sick
Opening: a series of posts I’m thinking of? I guess it qualifies.
Giggling: At the dog.
So there you have it, a very short update on me.
Firma

Cycles

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I used to say that if this moment in my life had a name, it would be “Cycle”. Everything was constant. Everything moved in a pattern, everything happened with the same purpose everyday. And yes, it was all divided in cycles. A Cycle for the day. A Cycle at Work. A Cycle for my week. A cycle every month. And I was actually ok with it.

Cycles are fine. Cycles are comfortable.

Everything was predictable to a certain degree. And I like predictable.

I was fine. It was a cycle and after all, all cycles create the illusion of stability.

Lately, things are not as cyclic as they had been for a while. I notice change, and it’s throwing me off-balance. Things are starting to take shape in a way that defies the status quo that’s been ruling my life for the past 3 or so years.

I know that around december I’m supposed to make life changing decision, and I’m thinking I’m ready to make it. And it seems as if things are arranging to force me into it. But I guess it’s fine. I guess it’s finally time to exit the cycle and my life is preparing me for it.

We’ll see what the next name will be.

Firma

Just in 25

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My dear friend Charlotte send these to me over the mail the other day, cause she says (and I quote) “You don’t post anymore, here, answer this, keep me entertained” and since I love her heaps, here you have me.

25 Get to Know Me Q’s

1. What is your middle name?: Elizabeth. Yes, Elizabeth, nothing fancy. It’s even my “Adult” name, I usually introduce myself with that name.

2. What was favorite subject at school?: Spanish and Literature. I was awesome!

3. What is your favorite drink?: I am not too into Alcohol, so I’m just going to say a plain lemonade. Or green tea. I’m so basic.

4. What is your favorite song at the moment?:

I don’t even know why

5. What is your favorite food?: Mexican in general.

6. What is the last thing you bought?: I’m trying to remember about anything relevant, but i can’t. I got gas on my way home.

7. Favorite book of all time?: The Unbearable lightness of being – Milan Kundera. I think Linn Ullmann’s Before you sleep is also on the level.

8. Favorite Color?: Pink and Grey

9. Do you have any pets?: Chewbacca Aminoacido.

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10. Favorite Perfume?: I’m going to sound like a Perfume snob, but I’m crazy over Chanel no. 5. That’s how I usually smell like. Also Ralph Lauren’s Blue Pony (I think the real name is 1).

11. Favorite Holiday?: Halloween!!!

12. Are you married?: Nop

13. Have you ever been out of the country, if so how many times?: I think I’ve been out of the country too many times to count. I’ve been to EU and Cuba.

14. Do you speak any other language?: I speak English and Spanish. I can kind of read French.

15. How many siblings do you have?: I am an only child

16. What is your favorite shop?: H&M? I think…

17. Favorite restaurant?: It’s a local restaurant. Truco 7.

18. When was the last time you cried?: Last saturday. Tough conversations.

19. Favorite Blog?: Gala Darling? I don’t really read personal blogs a lot.

20. Favorite Movie?: I used to say my favorite movie was The suicide Circle, but I don’t think that’s true anymore. One of my favorite ones is Ben-Hur. Secretary is on a similar level.

21. Favorite TV shows?: Just today I was talking to someone about how I don’t really watch a lot of tv shows anymore, but here are some! Steven Universe, Adventure Time, Regular Show, PLL, Once upon a time, The Vampire Diaries and Gilmore Girls

22. PC or Mac?: Mac

23. What phone do you have?: iPhone 6s, Rose Gold,

24. How tall are you?: 5’4″

25. Can you cook?: Yes, but I don’t do it a lot anymore, I want to start doing it again.

So there it is! Did you learn anything about me?

Wayback Machine!

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Today, for reasons that are pretty much irrelevant, I decided to use Wayback Machine to check how [RINGO-ISH.org] used to look a while back and I’m going to share it with you guys.

1- The very first one! As you can see there isn’t much to show, mainly because the pictures didn’t survive, but back in the time I was crazy over koi fish, so it featured multicolored ink dissolving into water, as well as koi fish. It was pretty. Back in the day I was using CuteNews to post, and it didn’t take long before I decided to make the move to WordPress

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2- This isn’t even the first look I had on WordPress, but it was using the same theme. The first one had a picture I found on DeviantART back when I was still remotely active on that site.

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3- To this day, I still use that drawing to represent myself, and it’s been well over 6 years! This was my last look before moving into my server, not that it changed much when it did. And guess what? I do speak a lot!

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4- To be honest guys, I didn’t even remembered this existed. however, I do remember creating the header and the tag line, which still survives “Ponicorn words on a nifty existence!” It didn’t last for a very long time.

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5- This is the last one I had. I used this puppy for about 4 years, until I decided to change it for the current one *Which to be honest, it’s still on probation* I fell in love with that theme instantly based on the color scheme, and I am yet to find something else I can love more. Maybe there’s something on the way.

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6- Last but not least, the current one. I am still ambivalent about this, I may change it, but I’m fine with it on the mean time.

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While checking these, I started reading old entries, but really old, I’m not talking about 3-4 years ago, I’m talking about 7-8 years ago, back when I started, I don’t know, I’m just nostalgic.

Last night I had a huge fight with my mom, it wasn’t really a fight as much as it was an argument about life choices and all. She’s right about a lot, and I’m stubborn. I don’t really want to talk about it, it just made me think about stuff I didn’t want to acknowledge. I don’t know why I’m sharing this in particular, I’ve just had a lot of people and events in my mind.

About a couple of hours ago, Macky mentioned on twitter something about reading old posts. Are we all going through the same?

*Unexcited yey for memory lane*

Firma

Definitions

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“Someday there will be self-driving trucks, and no one will need to be in this cab at all. This won’t be anyone’s job. It won’t be a job. All of us will have to figure out how to define ourselves when we’re not defining ourselves by how we survive.”

That last part, has been in my head. All over my head, trying to catch some sense.

How do you define yourself when you don’t define yourself by the things you do to survive? I’ve been meaning to answer, but I can’t, not yet.

I’ve done so much and at the same time, I’ve dropped so much. I’m kind of lost, and I don’t feel so good. I don’t even know if this is a matter of perspective anymore.

Last night I took a nap that turned into an 8 hour sleep, I woke up at 3, feeling quite alone if I have to be honest, and feeling alone is not necessarily the best for someone who just wants to hide from her emotions…

I don’t know how I get into these feelings, or what these feelings are anyway…

How do you define yourself when you don’t do it by the things you do to survive? I’ve been a teacher, a director, a programmer… and I don’t know…

I’ve been a pony, a Ponicorn… The Ponicorn Princess… And Kourai… and I still don’t know yet…

I need to think more… or maybe I just need a change, and even though many changes are on their way, I need to take advantage of the time I have while things unfold and think, come up with something, set some ground rules for myself or something…

While looking for a picture to use on this post I found this blog post and I think it relates a lot to what I’m saying.

Also the quote I wrote at the top comes from Alice Isn’t Dead.

How do you define yourselves, guys?

Firma

Underwater

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I’ve been feeling a lot of things lately. You know that kind of exhaustion, right? The one you get after big events take place, where it doesn’t really matter if there wasn’t really any physical effort involved, you still feel like drowning.

I don’t even swim, guys…

But once when I was 4 on a trip I was about to drown.

Anyway… A lot of things are happening, mostly work related but they leave me feeling a little too emotional. It doesn’t matter. All I know it’s that it’s too early in the morning and I feel half dead, half alive…

There are things. It’s not all about work, some things are family, but I don’t even feel like discussing that, I feel like ignoring and obliterating that.

All I know is that I feel like I am underwater and since I hadn’t really posted anything here in a while, I took a moment to find the best pictures to represent my feelings, but it’s like when you watch a perfume commercial, and even though it’s eye-catching and it’s meant to give you a vague hint of how it should smell, you never get to actually smell it… and you can’t really get a hold of my feelings.

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I’m going to try to post more, cause every time I come, I sound creepy and disturbing and really sad….

And I promise you guys… I’m not always like this.

Love,

Firma

Alice on the road…

Let me tell you a stupid little thing you shouldn’t do:

Listen to “Alice Isn’t Dead” while you’re driving.

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Alice Isn’t Dead is a podcast created by the team behind Welcome to Night Vale (I’m obsessed guys), narrated by Jasika Nicole and featuring music (and also produced) by Disparition.

It tells the story of a nameless lady who is driving a shipping truck all around the US, trying to unveil or at least understand the disappearance of her wife Alice. It’s quite intense if you’re into the whole existential horror deal, you’re going to listen to Jasika’s character coping with the pain of losing the person she loved the most, while encountering horrific murderous demi-humans , or just plain unexplainable occurrences that leave behind a philosophical or even moral turmoil.

Ever since I heard Joseph Fink was working on a new podcast, and more than anything I heard it would star Night Vale’s own Mayor Dana Cardinal in a new role, I got immediately excited. So far there are about 5 episodes out and the story is already on a cliffhanger.

Allow me to correct myself, the story on itself is a cliffhanger, and a very promising one if I do say so myself.

I love Alice Isn’t Dead, and I have a thing for listening to podcasts while I’m on the highway driving.

Well guys, let me spoil a thing for you: Alice Isn’t Dead happens on the roadway, it’s even stated on the teaser, This is not a story it’s a road trip, which same difference, in a good one the start is exciting and the finish is satisfying and we end up somewhere else, somewhere a long way from where we started, which means you will eventually listen to highway sounds and you might think, (Like I did) they are actually happening around you…

It happened to me today and I was so into the story I got really scared.

So, guys… listen to this. It’s actually pretty good and barely starting so you get the chance to live through the story as it develops.

Firma

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