Just in 25

My dear friend Charlotte send these to me over the mail the other day, cause she says (and I quote) “You don’t post anymore, here, answer this, keep me entertained” and since I love her heaps, here you have me.

25 Get to Know Me Q’s

1. What is your middle name?: Elizabeth. Yes, Elizabeth, nothing fancy. It’s even my “Adult” name, I usually introduce myself with that name.

2. What was favorite subject at school?: Spanish and Literature. I was awesome!

3. What is your favorite drink?: I am not too into Alcohol, so I’m just going to say a plain lemonade. Or green tea. I’m so basic.

4. What is your favorite song at the moment?:

I don’t even know why

5. What is your favorite food?: Mexican in general.

6. What is the last thing you bought?: I’m trying to remember about anything relevant, but i can’t. I got gas on my way home.

7. Favorite book of all time?: The Unbearable lightness of being – Milan Kundera. I think Linn Ullmann’s Before you sleep is also on the level.

8. Favorite Color?: Pink and Grey

9. Do you have any pets?: Chewbacca Aminoacido.

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10. Favorite Perfume?: I’m going to sound like a Perfume snob, but I’m crazy over Chanel no. 5. That’s how I usually smell like. Also Ralph Lauren’s Blue Pony (I think the real name is 1).

11. Favorite Holiday?: Halloween!!!

12. Are you married?: Nop

13. Have you ever been out of the country, if so how many times?: I think I’ve been out of the country too many times to count. I’ve been to EU and Cuba.

14. Do you speak any other language?: I speak English and Spanish. I can kind of read French.

15. How many siblings do you have?: I am an only child

16. What is your favorite shop?: H&M? I think…

17. Favorite restaurant?: It’s a local restaurant. Truco 7.

18. When was the last time you cried?: Last saturday. Tough conversations.

19. Favorite Blog?: Gala Darling? I don’t really read personal blogs a lot.

20. Favorite Movie?: I used to say my favorite movie was The suicide Circle, but I don’t think that’s true anymore. One of my favorite ones is Ben-Hur. Secretary is on a similar level.

21. Favorite TV shows?: Just today I was talking to someone about how I don’t really watch a lot of tv shows anymore, but here are some! Steven Universe, Adventure Time, Regular Show, PLL, Once upon a time, The Vampire Diaries and Gilmore Girls

22. PC or Mac?: Mac

23. What phone do you have?: iPhone 6s, Rose Gold,

24. How tall are you?: 5’4″

25. Can you cook?: Yes, but I don’t do it a lot anymore, I want to start doing it again.

So there it is! Did you learn anything about me?

Wayback Machine!

Today, for reasons that are pretty much irrelevant, I decided to use Wayback Machine to check how [RINGO-ISH.org] used to look a while back and I’m going to share it with you guys.

1- The very first one! As you can see there isn’t much to show, mainly because the pictures didn’t survive, but back in the time I was crazy over koi fish, so it featured multicolored ink dissolving into water, as well as koi fish. It was pretty. Back in the day I was using CuteNews to post, and it didn’t take long before I decided to make the move to WordPress

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2- This isn’t even the first look I had on WordPress, but it was using the same theme. The first one had a picture I found on DeviantART back when I was still remotely active on that site.

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3- To this day, I still use that drawing to represent myself, and it’s been well over 6 years! This was my last look before moving into my server, not that it changed much when it did. And guess what? I do speak a lot!

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4- To be honest guys, I didn’t even remembered this existed. however, I do remember creating the header and the tag line, which still survives “Ponicorn words on a nifty existence!” It didn’t last for a very long time.

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5- This is the last one I had. I used this puppy for about 4 years, until I decided to change it for the current one *Which to be honest, it’s still on probation* I fell in love with that theme instantly based on the color scheme, and I am yet to find something else I can love more. Maybe there’s something on the way.

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6- Last but not least, the current one. I am still ambivalent about this, I may change it, but I’m fine with it on the mean time.

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While checking these, I started reading old entries, but really old, I’m not talking about 3-4 years ago, I’m talking about 7-8 years ago, back when I started, I don’t know, I’m just nostalgic.

Last night I had a huge fight with my mom, it wasn’t really a fight as much as it was an argument about life choices and all. She’s right about a lot, and I’m stubborn. I don’t really want to talk about it, it just made me think about stuff I didn’t want to acknowledge. I don’t know why I’m sharing this in particular, I’ve just had a lot of people and events in my mind.

About a couple of hours ago, Macky mentioned on twitter something about reading old posts. Are we all going through the same?

*Unexcited yey for memory lane*

Firma

Definitions

“Someday there will be self-driving trucks, and no one will need to be in this cab at all. This won’t be anyone’s job. It won’t be a job. All of us will have to figure out how to define ourselves when we’re not defining ourselves by how we survive.”

That last part, has been in my head. All over my head, trying to catch some sense.

How do you define yourself when you don’t define yourself by the things you do to survive? I’ve been meaning to answer, but I can’t, not yet.

I’ve done so much and at the same time, I’ve dropped so much. I’m kind of lost, and I don’t feel so good. I don’t even know if this is a matter of perspective anymore.

Last night I took a nap that turned into an 8 hour sleep, I woke up at 3, feeling quite alone if I have to be honest, and feeling alone is not necessarily the best for someone who just wants to hide from her emotions…

I don’t know how I get into these feelings, or what these feelings are anyway…

How do you define yourself when you don’t do it by the things you do to survive? I’ve been a teacher, a director, a programmer… and I don’t know…

I’ve been a pony, a Ponicorn… The Ponicorn Princess… And Kourai… and I still don’t know yet…

I need to think more… or maybe I just need a change, and even though many changes are on their way, I need to take advantage of the time I have while things unfold and think, come up with something, set some ground rules for myself or something…

While looking for a picture to use on this post I found this blog post and I think it relates a lot to what I’m saying.

Also the quote I wrote at the top comes from Alice Isn’t Dead.

How do you define yourselves, guys?

Firma

Underwater

I’ve been feeling a lot of things lately. You know that kind of exhaustion, right? The one you get after big events take place, where it doesn’t really matter if there wasn’t really any physical effort involved, you still feel like drowning.

I don’t even swim, guys…

But once when I was 4 on a trip I was about to drown.

Anyway… A lot of things are happening, mostly work related but they leave me feeling a little too emotional. It doesn’t matter. All I know it’s that it’s too early in the morning and I feel half dead, half alive…

There are things. It’s not all about work, some things are family, but I don’t even feel like discussing that, I feel like ignoring and obliterating that.

All I know is that I feel like I am underwater and since I hadn’t really posted anything here in a while, I took a moment to find the best pictures to represent my feelings, but it’s like when you watch a perfume commercial, and even though it’s eye-catching and it’s meant to give you a vague hint of how it should smell, you never get to actually smell it… and you can’t really get a hold of my feelings.

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I’m going to try to post more, cause every time I come, I sound creepy and disturbing and really sad….

And I promise you guys… I’m not always like this.

Love,

Firma

Alice on the road…

Let me tell you a stupid little thing you shouldn’t do:

Listen to “Alice Isn’t Dead” while you’re driving.

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Alice Isn’t Dead is a podcast created by the team behind Welcome to Night Vale (I’m obsessed guys), narrated by Jasika Nicole and featuring music (and also produced) by Disparition.

It tells the story of a nameless lady who is driving a shipping truck all around the US, trying to unveil or at least understand the disappearance of her wife Alice. It’s quite intense if you’re into the whole existential horror deal, you’re going to listen to Jasika’s character coping with the pain of losing the person she loved the most, while encountering horrific murderous demi-humans , or just plain unexplainable occurrences that leave behind a philosophical or even moral turmoil.

Ever since I heard Joseph Fink was working on a new podcast, and more than anything I heard it would star Night Vale’s own Mayor Dana Cardinal in a new role, I got immediately excited. So far there are about 5 episodes out and the story is already on a cliffhanger.

Allow me to correct myself, the story on itself is a cliffhanger, and a very promising one if I do say so myself.

I love Alice Isn’t Dead, and I have a thing for listening to podcasts while I’m on the highway driving.

Well guys, let me spoil a thing for you: Alice Isn’t Dead happens on the roadway, it’s even stated on the teaser, This is not a story it’s a road trip, which same difference, in a good one the start is exciting and the finish is satisfying and we end up somewhere else, somewhere a long way from where we started, which means you will eventually listen to highway sounds and you might think, (Like I did) they are actually happening around you…

It happened to me today and I was so into the story I got really scared.

So, guys… listen to this. It’s actually pretty good and barely starting so you get the chance to live through the story as it develops.

Firma

If you are not very careful…

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Your posessions will possess you. TV taught me how to feel, Now real life has no appeal. It has no appeal, it has no appeal…

Marina Diamandis is one of those strange legacies Tumblr has left me with. I first found out about her, in one of those absolutely biased posts about how some female singers are not feminist enough while one or two of the listed ones actually are. In this case, the one that actually was regarded as a true feminist, was Marina.

*Notice how I am not actually getting into discussing the Feminist validity of those arguments here, cause that’s a whole post on its own, and It’s late and actually not the point of this*

But anyway, this lovely girl turned out to be a cherished jewel, her voice somehow reminds me to Hikaru Utada, they both have this sweetness and simultaneous depth. Call me crazy if you want, but I think Marina could absolutely give “Simple and clean” a go and would totally rock it.

The song I am sharing at the top of this post has became some sort of anthem for me. It’s hard for me to describe if it’s a positive/negative/neutral song, cause it can be perceived either way, but the whole idea behind “I’m now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy” gives me hope in a very particular way.

I am a big supporter of the idea of  “you become what you say you are” and the power of manifesting the life you want to have and all, so becoming a “Self-fulfilled Prophecy” actually sounds pretty exciting to me and the quote “Cause I feel like I’m the worst so I always act like I’m the best” is one of the most uplifting and relatable things I’ve heard in a song.

Besides, the idea of not needed love, or being ambition-driven seen in a positive light is such an unexplored topic for female singers, so there’s that.

Anyway, this post is absolutely random, I just feel very Marina and the Diamonds right now and I wanted to share, so yeah.

Enjoy!

P.S. Fun fact! I like to playfully sing this song to my friends when I know (or sense) they are lying about something.

Firma

The Wish Room: Horror and the Pony

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I am a closet horror-reader. I say I don’t like it, and to be perfectly honest, I get scared easily, but as with almost anyone who is into the genre, I find it alluring and fascinating in ways I can’t scape.

Last year I became acquainted with Christopher Bloodworth thanks to Sixpenceee’s tumblr, and I devoured all the initial No Sleep collection in a day. I have to admit I had trouble sleeping after The Soul Game, but overall, I loved every story in the collection (If you’re interested in reading them, consider this a Trigger Warning for just about anything you can consider Triggering).

Anyway, a while back I found out he was releasing a novel named The Wish Room, and I had to read it. Well, my babes, I finished it last night.

*There might be spoilers ahead, so… yeah, you know*
The Wish Room is the story of a married couple, Nora and Harold, they move to a new house in a new city, trying to leave the struggles they faced together in the past and start all over again. Everything looks quite promising until they find a closet they can’t open. Eventually strange things begin to happen straining their relationship. They start being consumed by obsessions they develop, until they are broken down. As you can expect, they ultimately open the closet, and things go bad… or worst for that matter.

Last night, as I finished reading, I wrote a short review about it on Goodreads, based on a couple of questions my boyfriend asked about the book and my perception of it. I wrote about how the stories that scare me the most are the ones that speak about my fears, and this one is like that. I may have mention this before, but I am quite scared of the dark, and since the story develops a lot through the darkness and dark spaces, it made me feel constantly uneasy.

And that’s the thing with Christopher Bloodworth’s stories, they make you feel like that, they disturb you and make you think of the horrible things you didn’t want to imagine, but they leave you wanting more, you need to know more, you need to find out what happens; and of course, The Wish Room is no exception…

Even though at the end you understand how it all happened, and why it happened within the limits of their story, there’s bigger “why” that still lingers, a deeper questioning that makes me want to know more. You never really understand why is the closet like that, why does it inspire the obsessions and violence it inspires; but when you think about it, it doesn’t really matter all that much. The closet is what it is, and hopefully, we will eventually get to see it on a different story.

After all, there’s a faint connection to Handbook for a Teenage Antichrist. And just guess what I’m going to start reading next.

Firma

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