A tale of her.

This is a museum of the woman I used to be. A tale of her.

Some days, I really feel like I want to stop using this place to speak, because I speak, I am constantly vocal, but I don’t need to do it here.

Remember a few years ago, when this place used to say “I do speak a lot” by means of pictures or plain words written all over? I still do. I speak a lot, but my voice is different. I am different.

I think it’s been 4 years since Ringo-ish started dying and I’ve been every day more and more comfortable with the idea of letting it go. Maybe you all, (whomever is reading this) saw it coming before I did, but it’s not as if I was unaware of it. I am just not the same anymore.

I started this blog as a collection of memories I needed to keep from the limitations of my mere humanity.

“Age just reveals the facts that always were. Experience uncovers the you that always was.”

I think that’s a quote from Welcome to Nightvale, and a quite proper one for that matter. i’ve always been this.

A couple of months ago I was writing on my journal about an epiphany I’ve had. The last 6 years have been hard and great. I’ve been through hell only to understand the person I am, to accept the feelings and complexities I have towards myself, and I am now able to look back and feel fine about it all.

I feel like a better human, in a deeply rooted sense of self, and through that, I also feel like a better friend, a better girlfriend, a better *role of action*. Any action.

I am in love, deeply and intensely in love, and I am happy about a lot of things in my life, as well as unhappy about a myriad of nuisances.

And I feel this place as foreign and old.

I want to continue writing, and I constantly think of things to say and ideas to share, but I might not do it here anymore. If I am correct, I own ThePonicorn.com and I might continue doing it there, and I am not even sure of when that’s going to happen, but I am ok.

This place, will remain the museum and the testament that it is. It won’t go anywhere, if you ever feel curious.

But I will. I’ll go somewhere.

I started this place about 9 years ago thinking “keep it always positive” and  I think for the most I’ve done that, I’ve talked about my depression in the past years with and upbeat attitude, I’ve talked about me being sad, knowing well that, within time, I’ll be better.

And i’ve been better.

I’ve been better for a while.

Okay…

A few months back Gelial introduced me to this song, and I hadn’t been able to get it out of my head. It has a certain 80’s vibe to it that I absolutely love.

Enjoy, babes!

To be real with you guys, I am feeling less than ok right now. But wishful thinking. Who knows what will happen…

On a totally unrelated note, Have I already mentioned that I love how on WordPress now you have to just paste the URL of the video, and it automatically embeds it? Well done, WordPress!!

P.S. Speaking about Gelial, yesterday was his birthday, so you might want to go say “happy birthday”, if you know where to find him. (I’m gonna tell you, he’s on Twitter)

Firma

Bursts…

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“… And then you come and love me with your words, and hug me with your lips, and calm me with your hands. And I become this senseless mount of clay. I become and I transform, because your words reclaim me.”

Annalise Louise Reign

Things that make me wonder…

I’m trying to get better… I might be able to make it work…

Love,

Firma

The Ponicorn life in short sentences

Instagram

I’ve been busy. Not extremely, but still busy. I have work to do. I have things to finish for my web clients, and I have been takin training for my other job. Therefore, you are lacking updates here, in lieu of me, having updates IRL. Besides, I have not really been in the mood for a real post, so I am just going to update you on my life, with very short sentences… ok… paragraphs.

Captura de pantalla 2013-06-30 a las 03.54.47I am cleaning my room. Organizing my closet, and doing what would be called a “Summer Cleaning”. I might sell a bunch of stuff I have and never get to wear or use.

I am a bit angry at things that are either happening or not happening in my life (depending on the perspective). I am trying not to think about these things too much, cause they are still pretty raw. But yeah.

I think I finished my My Little Pony game. The ending was not all that cool, but I still want to get all of the ponies, so I might just continue to play it.

Captura de pantalla 2013-06-30 a las 03.55.02I finally got my copy of Looking for Alaska. I could’ve read it in English, but I am not a big fan of reading fiction in english. I can’t focus. Speaking of the book, I think I’ve never told you this, but, I am a big fan of loyalty and frequency cards. I have a card for all the places I normally visit, well I got one for the bookstore from which I got the book, AND, turns out I had all these nice points, that I could use for my purchase. Wanna know how much actual cash I ended up spending on this baby? Less than a freaking dollar. I feel like a real NerdFighter. #Nerdfighteria

Captura de pantalla 2013-06-30 a las 03.56.04I printed a bunch of pictures of me, my friends, my boyfriend and I, my cats, and other random things. I might get a couple of frames for some of them.

I got a Professional Digital Camera. I’ve been wanting one for a while, and I actually need it for school, so we’ll see.

I am thinking about starting a Youtube channel. I already have it, and I’ve been working the details, so you might see my face moving and speaking eventually. I am thinking about Spanish only though. I am still working it out.

Captura de pantalla 2013-06-30 a las 03.56.20A couple of weeks ago, some friends and I went to a comic convention here in my city, and even though I am not really an anime-girl, I have a soft spot for Sailor Moon among other things. Well, there was this guy who had a binder open with a bunch of anime cards on sleeves, and there were Sailor Moon cards. I really wanted to get a small souvenir for myself, so I started flipping through the pages, looking for a card I’d like to buy. Then, big surprise, he had a bunch of Utena cards in the back. I ended up buying 10, and the seller, gifted me with one. I love them.

Captura de pantalla 2013-06-30 a las 04.00.02Speaking of going out, I’ve been spending a lot of time with this gal right here. She’s my boss, and also a friend. Pretty much every weekend I’ve been going out with her, and it’s always been fun. Last weekend we watched Monsters University.

Today I went shopping. Sales! 6 cardigans (the ones I own are ripped already) 3 skirts, 3 shirts, and 2 pants. I am excited. I got pink pants!

I am planning on getting a bigger bed for my house. I sleep in a twin bed, and I think it’s time to make a transition. It’s gonna happen soon.

I guess there’s more, but I am a bit tired and I really need to sleep.

I was thinking about writing a bit about the way I organized my closet. I am not done yet, but maybe it could be a small series of  tips and lil tricks I implemented in my organization. What do you think? Would you like to see that? Let me know.

Firma

 

Love List for the Ponicorn Soul

Love-list-negro

 

First one of the year! I’ve been kind of on a good mood lately, and some good and happy things have been going on, so I figured I would share a short list with you guys.

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  • My boyfriend visiting last week. We actually didn’t do anything but driving around and talking, but it was pretty good, I got to show him all the places I usually go to in the city. I loved the day.
  • Starting on my new job. I am not legally allowed to share specific details on my job online, but I can tell you I’ve been having some training and I feel a little more confident I can do it well. I sometimes forget how much I love doing what I do.
  • Pretty Little Liars coming back tomorrow. I am not sure what to expect, there have been hints and details dropped by the cast and producers, but still, I’m anxious to find out!
  • #PemberleyDay. As a good Austenite I was eagerly expecting this day. I can only say, Gigi is super cute and the cast gets even more perfect day by day. I think the only character missing in action is Lady Catherine, I really want them to show her, cause, seriously, how can they have the confrontation scene without showing her? Unless… mmmm…
  • Mate nail polish. It took me forever to finally get it, but now that I do, I don’t want to wear anything else.

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  • If you’re my close friend, there’s one thing you surely know about me: I love Ben-Hur. My mom gave me this set up here, it’ the 50th. anniversary edition and it includes a book of pictures and Charlton Heston’s journal while portraying the character. I just love it that much!
  • Reading a book my boyfriend recommended. I have so much to talk to him about it.
  • Keeping my 52/52/365 projects so far. Specially the 365 pictures, cause that tends to be the one that dies first, the other I can always catch on, but not that one, so yey for me!!

Little Things?

  • Washing 90% of the laundry I brought from home.
  • Being able to wear skirts again (it has been very cold)
  • Developing a small routine before going to bed.
  • The upcoming trip to Uruapan.
  • Having long talks with my best friend Karla.
  • Planning a little thing I want to accomplish by the end of the year
  • Organizing the revamp of ParteFORMA.
  • Coming back to Twitter.
  • Having nice co-workers.
  • Finding a Feminist Group in my city.

There’s just so much going on, but most of it is happy. I feel ok, and better… And it’s kind of late, so I am going to bed.

Goodnight!

Firma

On posting and stuff…

Admittedly, November wasn’t really the nicest month for me, lots of things happened, among some of those, one of my cats broke his hip, I had some of the most difficult conversations I’d ever had, and well… other things… Things have been going better for the last half of it, but at times, I still have to crouch down and just breath heavily until I feel at ease again.

But December is here, and I think it’s fair for me to come out of my shell and write again…

This December I have some things planned. Some… Here’s a briefing:

  • I am 5 books away from my 30 books for 2012 goal. Next year I am planing a more ambitious goal of 52 books, so we’ll see.
  • I am going to send Xmas letters. I was originally planning on sending personalized postcards, but seriously guys, November was rough on me, so I didn’t really felt any sort of inspiration to design them, so it’s gonna be next year! Still, this year you’ll get letters from this gal up here (Macky, I know you’ll read this, so, please!!! could you send me your postal address through and E-mail? please!!!!)
  • I am looking for a gift for my mother in law. I have an idea, but I am not sure, I’ll let you know… I need to run it by my boyfriend first… She is always the nicest, and has sent me a couple of gifts already, so I really want to send her something special.
  • On a similar note, I am going to give my boyfriend a gift. I don’t normally give him any gifts on xmas, cause… I don’t know… we just don’t do that, but this year I feel like I’d like to start doing that… I won’t say what it’ll be here, in case he reads this (He does read my blog, so yeah…) but you’ll know when he finds out…
  • I want to print pictures of my friends, my boyfriend and I… Oh, and the cats…
  • I want to start running again… I have a lot to think about… and I really need some time to introspect…
  • There’s this magazine I buy pretty much every month, so I decided I would finally take advantage of the xmas sales and finally suscribe.

That’s pretty much it. I still have so much to do, but still.. I am excited…

But the important thing right here is that I am back, I am going to be posting again, and (As I said at the very beginning) since the last half of November was actually decent, and plenty of things happened, I have so much to tell… so, be ready for a Love List for the Ponicorn Soul coming to you very soon (Gosh, it’s been so long since I last did one of those).

Love,

Good News, not so Good News.

About today, I moved this blog to my own server! Yey! It was about time! However, unfortunately, Some if not most of my Picture attachments didn’t come through. Which is sad, cause I have about 165 posts with an average or 2 or 3 pictures per post. Soooo.. they’re pretty much gone. Such a shame.

I refuse to let this get into my system and make me sad, So I’ll just deal with it and accept it.

Moving on.

Next monday I will (finally) be able to attend school. I am looking forward to it. I miss school I miss contact with other people. So 2 more days to go. Also, I very much miss the boy in a way I can’t even begin to explain, I really need the contact.

Have I mention that I have a new roommate? My cats already love her (I’ve seen pictures of her hugging them) but I am looking forward to actually living together, she’s a pretty cool chick. I still need to find another girl to live in the house, so any takers?

Yesterday, the cute as hell Charlotte gifted me with a Sailor Moon T-shirt. Well, she didn’t actually give it to me, she bought it and let me know. If you guys like it, go ahead and buy it cause you just have about 5 hours before it’s gone, gone, gone forever. You can buy it here. And it says “Sailor Soldiers. Crystal Tokyo” with a skull Usagi. (Picture on the right)

Lately Sailor Moon has become an intense topic of discussion. Specially since the new series is coming next year; it’s creating such speculation! I’ve been reading a lot about the original series, musicals and manga. I don’t think I am prepared to re-watch it (again cause I did it like 2 years ago) but I am getting in the mood for doing it at the end of the year. I want it to be 2013 already!

I’ve been thinking I would like to write a bit more here. Next year it’ll be 10 years since I started writing online, and I feel like it’s been a huge part of my development as a person. Most of the things I’ve written are lost for good, so it’s pretty much imposible to track my blogging past (at least from before I got into wordpress, cause ever since I’ve been keeping everything in file). I don’t want to lose the link with that part of myself. But sometimes I feel like I build expectations on what I am going to do with this space. I need to focus more on the things I want to write and the things I care about. I feel nostalgic.

*sigh*

I’ve been reading a lot. I need to re-organize all the widgets here, so you get a good grasp on what’s happening in my life. On a small update: I finished The Girl who kicked the hornet’s nest, and after a good while I continued reading Pride and Prejudice. In case that I hadn’t mention it before, I am a huge fan of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, and I am right now reading the same part they are at. Kind of. It’s hard to tell, cause they mix events, but I am about 20% into the book. I started reading it about 3 months ago, but ended up dropping it, in favor of The hunger games, now that I am over with those and the Millenium series, I decided it was time to carry on. So far I am enjoying it. I don’t even know why I stopped reading it.

Also, on a completely unrelated topic, I think it’s fair to say that since my pictures are gone, gone, gone, I’m gonna change my signature here. A few months ago I was experimenting with my iPad and I got something I really liked. I hope you like it too. And just so you know, yes, that’s both the way I handwrite my name, and the way I draw hearts, which I do pretty much every time I write my name, so this is the closest you’ll get to the real deal.

Love,

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