I beat sadness (and everything in between)

This post was meant to be written yesterday, but i was too tired and sleepy to do it, so i’m here.

on top of the world

on top of the world

Yesterday I was feling really sad in the morning, but i mean, TERRIBLY sad, quite odd, since i’ve been keeping myself positive for the last 2 months. I left home just because i knew i had to, and i went to run some errands.

About an hour before I had my class, I just couldn’t hold it. There were on the street a lot of things reminding me something realy sad that happened in my life about 3 months ago, So i had to sit down for a moment in one of the many parks in my city.

I was listening to music, and just observing everyone, feeling pitiful and useless.

And then i decided i had to write, i didn’t know what about, but i had to. Other wise i would’ve ended up crying. Not good, considering i don’t like to cry. So i started.

I must tell you, thanks to this moment, i discovered something to beat sadness, to just kick it away. Write. But not just write about randomness, cause sometimes, randomness can be so, so sad. Since i couldn’t really figure out what to write about, I started thinking of my morning. My morning had been so nice and wonderful and warm and magnificent, but it was suddenly ruined. I was not only sad, but upset about it

So I decideed to focus on that very moment I was living, and I don’t mean, the moment full of sadness, but the physical moment, everything that was surrounding me, everyone around me, the park, my clothes, me. EVERYTHING. And i started enouncing all the things I liked about that specific moment: My clothes, my pictures, my thoughts, the people, Everything.

And not just enouncing it, but stating it clear and loud: I love Peggy Lee, I love writing lists with positive things, I love pretty girls, I love taking cold showers, I love, I love, I love. I filled 5 pages with ‘I love’ Sentences with little hearts on the side. I felt so much, much better.

"I love" sentences

"I love" sentences

What did I learned from this? Of course, i had my reasons to be sad, and of course everyone deserves to be sad once in a while, It’s part of life, you have to live it, to know what happiness is about. But sometimes, you just have to move out of it, and you have to realize that not everything around you in that very moment is sadness, you can’t be hating every single little thing surrounding you. So focus on that. Make a list, think about it, enounce it, state it out loud, engrave it in your skin. Whatever it is, just make it real and let it come out of you.

You’ll remind yourself there’s something amazing waiting for you outside that circle of sadness.

Amino Love and Acid Kisses
-Kou

Leon

Ok, so after staying there a whole month, i had to go back today, but this time it was with my friends from school and other people i like.

We went to the FIAC (for info clicky, clicky, but just in spanish),  they had an exhibit on Nan Goldin, and i really liked it. Also, i must said I didn’t really like it. This year’s concept was ‘No-art’ which i hate, I remember almost falling asleep while watching a video of spinning food.

Later we went to the History and Art Museum… And that was it for my day… School has been super great. I didn’t notice how much i missed it.

Oh, by the way, i’m having this major Girl-crush on this tiny girl i’ve seen around. She’s so pretty!!!

P.S. I’m letting Sequins into my life…

Tomorrow i will go back to school. What am i saying? It’s not tomorrow, actually, it is today.

I’m pretty nervous, i guess that’s the reason i hadn’t sleep yet, even though i need to take a bus in about 2 hours and a half. I’ve been reading a lot, studying about a lot of things. I’ve been thinking. I have a lot of ideas. I feel a hunger and I don’t seem to get full…

I’m happy.

A lot of things have been making me feel like this lately. I just, love what is happening in my life.

To do…

Since i need to make a to do list and it’s easier for me to just have it here and then copy it to my phone. So this is what i have to do tomorrow:

  1. Meet Ly early in the morning.
  2. Call Bellica to find out what are her plans for the day
  3. Register online for my classes
  4. Print the bank paperwork
  5. Go pay the reenrollment fee
  6. Pay for the Social Service fee
  7. Deliver my Social Service paperwork with Gaby
  8. Scan my text paperwork and send it
  9. Go check the P.O. Box
  10. Find out what’s happening with the water company
  11. Go meet the lady who is going to help me clean up my house
  12. Meet Bellica at a certain point

I think that’s all… *sigh* Tomorrow will be a looong day… I may even meet Karina for lunch or something…

Trying new stuff.

Right now my life is full of novelty. By this, i mean, i’m trying  thing i never tried before, and i’m giving my life and pretty much everything in it a whole new purpose.

Ever since i got a really weird Love-Indifference relationship with a boy about a year ago, i decided i wanted to cut off the drama in my life. I hate drama, i’ve always hated it, and i started to notice how i was always surrounded by dramatic people, starting with romatic relationship, which eventually led me to be dramatic myself. So almost a year ago, i decided i would change some things. I surrounded myself with positive people (like my Friends of Failure -Because we keep a positive attitude towards failure) and made some more positive changes in my life and it all started rolling. It took me a lot, really a lot, I even got a relationship that got me a bit over the edge, but i could handle it. I think i’ve been doing pretty well at avoiding unnecessary drama. 😀

Anyway, i digress, what i’m trying to say, is that, i’ve been changing things about my life, the way i behave, and whatnot.

Just about today I started doing EFT (if you want to read about it in Spanish, click here). I decided i will try a lot of things, and i will give them a 30 days trial (just like software) and if i like it, i’ll buy it, if i don’t i’ll kick it after 30 days, but at least, i’ll give it a try, and that’s what i’m doing. So far, it’s the first day i do it, and it’s been working, I still want to do a list of the things i want to work on with this thing, but I can tell you, taht today something happened using this, that made it worth the try. Call is mind-power, call it whatever you want, but it worked for me today, and if it doesn’t for anything else, well, it’s going to be only 30 days, and then i’m off.

Another thing, completely unrelated, is that i’m trying to make this blog a bit more than just ‘whatever is happening in my life’ So i already have this projects in mind. For example, right now i’m posting some announcements on Facebook about websites i find worth taking a look at, websitea about style, living, plain cool websites.So as i complete a week I will post the compilation here, along with the reasons i think everyone in the world should check on this webs. I already have 2 up, so there are 5 more coming.

I also have some writting on the process. I feel completely inspired to do things i’ve never done and take my blog to a different stage. So beware.

So, i guess that’s it. Tomorrow I’m going to Gto (again) I will meet with this boy i’m having a weird relationship with, and i’ll be back home. In just one more week i’ll be back in school, i’d better take advantage of the last days of summer vacation.

Bye and Goodnight everyone.

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