I found this on HelloGiggles and thought of sharing since it touches a very sensitive fiber in my heart.
When I see things like this, I always feel a close-minded society tries to say “Hey, we told you not to express yourself sexually, see what happens when you do? It’s all your fault!” when the real damage is not caused by the actual sex implied, but the people turning it into something to be ashamed of.
Loving to see this perspective reflected here. I always think the whole “don’t take naked pictures of yourself, don’t make a home porn video” premise is incorrectly addressed.
Instead of bashing someone for capturing an intimate moment on camera, trying to live a healthy sex life by expressing their desires and sharing their fantasies with their lovers, people should bash the ones who maliciously inflict damage.
This whole “Naked on film” (any film) is something that makes me feel really upset, as I’ve done some art modeling in the past and even though I am in no way ashamed of it, it’s something that bit me in the ass about a year ago when it reached my family and I (sadly) discovered they didn’t share my views on it and even tried to guilt-trip me into feeling ashamed of myself, my actions and my sexuality. I am not, but I had a hard time dealing and coping.
I get really mad when I hear about Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Wena Naty (sorry but I’m not really up for googling her real name) and other girls going through the same experience. Why is people always saying “Oh, they shouldn’t have done it?!” when they are not the ones inflicting any damage? People should really think about who and what is the real bad in these scenarios, instead of simply making the girls the guilty ones cause they had sex and took record of it. That is the very definition of Slut-shaming, and it’s a sad, judgemental and unfair double-standard society loves to play.
When something like this happens to you, you are the victim, you are the one whose trust has been betrayed, yet you have to stand up and take the blame everyone’s putting on you. Not cool.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying “Go, send pictures of yourself to your boyfriend cause that is the healthy thing to do in a relationship. Trust no matter what!” . Don’t. Be judicious about it, if you are sure it’s something you want to do and you feel can trust the recipient, go ahead and rock it with confidence, but as I said: use your judgement.
But remember, nothing is fail-proof and it may come back and hurt you, but if it does, take it easy, don’t forget one simple action does not define you as a person, don’t go too hard on yourself, cause you’re the one whose confidence was betrayed, I promise eventually it all will go away.
This is kind of the unpopular opinion, yet, my two cents.