A tale of her.

This is a museum of the woman I used to be. A tale of her.

Some days, I really feel like I want to stop using this place to speak, because I speak, I am constantly vocal, but I don’t need to do it here.

Remember a few years ago, when this place used to say “I do speak a lot” by means of pictures or plain words written all over? I still do. I speak a lot, but my voice is different. I am different.

I think it’s been 4 years since Ringo-ish started dying and I’ve been every day more and more comfortable with the idea of letting it go. Maybe you all, (whomever is reading this) saw it coming before I did, but it’s not as if I was unaware of it. I am just not the same anymore.

I started this blog as a collection of memories I needed to keep from the limitations of my mere humanity.

“Age just reveals the facts that always were. Experience uncovers the you that always was.”

I think that’s a quote from Welcome to Nightvale, and a quite proper one for that matter. i’ve always been this.

A couple of months ago I was writing on my journal about an epiphany I’ve had. The last 6 years have been hard and great. I’ve been through hell only to understand the person I am, to accept the feelings and complexities I have towards myself, and I am now able to look back and feel fine about it all.

I feel like a better human, in a deeply rooted sense of self, and through that, I also feel like a better friend, a better girlfriend, a better *role of action*. Any action.

I am in love, deeply and intensely in love, and I am happy about a lot of things in my life, as well as unhappy about a myriad of nuisances.

And I feel this place as foreign and old.

I want to continue writing, and I constantly think of things to say and ideas to share, but I might not do it here anymore. If I am correct, I own ThePonicorn.com and I might continue doing it there, and I am not even sure of when that’s going to happen, but I am ok.

This place, will remain the museum and the testament that it is. It won’t go anywhere, if you ever feel curious.

But I will. I’ll go somewhere.

I started this place about 9 years ago thinking “keep it always positive” and  I think for the most I’ve done that, I’ve talked about my depression in the past years with and upbeat attitude, I’ve talked about me being sad, knowing well that, within time, I’ll be better.

And i’ve been better.

I’ve been better for a while.

She’s going to change the world…

Let Desire Be Your Destiny

When I was a teen, I was obsessed with Great Expectations. It was my favorite movie for about 5 years, and to this day I still think it’s amazing, and  even though it’s not very faithful to the book, it remains one of my favorite adaptations. Why? Aesthetics.

You know that thing going around about being a true 90’s kid? Well… I am a true 90’s kid; which (yes) I guess you could say it means I am kind of a sad adult.

The 90’s were trashy and glorious. Less trashy than the 80’s, yet still pretty trashy in a whole different way. I was born in the 80’s, and I spent the first 5 years of my life being an unaware lump of existence, and it was during the 90’s when I actually became aware of myself as a being, and started to form myself as a human. The 90’s were mine, and they made me who I am, along with Milan Kundera.

Every single decade I’ve lived through I’ve adored. The 2000’s were amazing in many ways and my current decade is going as well as the rest, but there’s something about that 90’s nostalgia I’ll never be able to shake off, and it’s undoubtably tied to Great Expectations.

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It was something on the way Finn and Stella danced to Besame Mucho, or the length of Stella’s dress.  Or just the general feeling of “Green” surrounding everything that appealed so much to my aesthetic ideals and remained lingering in my soul for years.

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Perhaps it was on the way Stella dressed, which I may add, To this day I feel like this blouse paired with black pants would look a thousand times better, however, not 90’s enough. Or maybe just the general ambiance created by the amazing soundtrack, that shaped my appreciation of music and turned inspiration into aspiration. And that deeply rooted desire of being swept off my feet, being loved, ingrained cherished dearly in someone’s heart, mind and soul.

There was something about 90’s movies that gave me unrealistic expectations about love and romance. Not even the romantic comedies, but anything with a hint of 90’s disdain to make me swoon over it with expectant adoration.

This morning I was listening to Chris Cornell’s Can’t change me and I suddenly remembered this movie, I immediately felt a sharp desire to watch it all over again. Watch it if you can. Get it if you have the change. And on the mean time, enjoy the soundtrack, to this day, I listen to it and I feel passionately touched.

Firma

The wording of the universe

“Life, happens when you’re making plans, flying high and shaking hands; the song will write you, you don’t write it. I didn’t mean to fall in love, this rhythm that created us. I was running, we collided…”

This is the first original post I’ve written in about 3 months, the rest have been either songs, or repost with commentary; and yes, I am aware that this includes a song, but I intend to write more than just that. My life has been eventful to say the least, and there’s a lot I could tell you, but I’m going to be very selective about what I share with you guys, not because I don’t want to share, but because I  want to keep some things for myself. Still, my life remains not at all interesting, guys… But I’m going to update you on all things, pony-wise.

  • My mom got a dog, her name is Chewie as in Chewbacca. She’s adorable and tiny. I’m not really into dogs (You’re talking to a cat lady here) but that baby is adorable to say the least, and I’m literally dying over her. I’ll make sure to post a picture of her very, very soon.

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  • We moved into a new House, Everything is still a little too messy, and every times I try to do a little, there’s more and more and more left to do. I think two more weeks and I’ll be done with this. But let me tell you guys, the new house is looking good.
  • A few weeks ago I got a surgery, I had my gallbladder removed. I am all fine now, but still recovering I guess. I was told I was going to be able to go back into my life in two weeks (True) but I would still feel tired and in pain for a couple of months (Also true) So I am in that second stage now.
  • Next week a friend is coming to visit. He’s not just visiting me, he has a lot of things to do in the city, but it’s going to be super nice to get a chance to see him again.

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  • Lately I’ve been so into Instagram, it has become my main social network, in fact, I am almost sure that most of the people who check this place, do so because they find the link on my Insta account, so if for some reason you’re into what I post, check it out and follow me!

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  • You know this already (Because of course you do) I got into the Planner Community, and I really think I’ve found my niche. I think I’ve never felt more at peace and more accepted on a community as I feel in the Planner Community; as with everything, I’ve seen things I don’t entirely relate to (More on that on future posts), but in general, I feel so connected. So thank you, Planner Girls (for some reason, we’re only -or mainly- girls).

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  • I’m saying this, with no intent of getting too deep into it, but I am in a relationship. I am with someone I love deeply, and I care a lot about this person. I don’t really want to tell much, cause… quite honestly, I don’t feel too comfortable; this is ours only. I have the feeling none of us want to really talk about it outside of, well, us. But we’re ok. We’re fine. I’m loving this, guys, he is just amazing. Aren’t you happy for me?

So, that’s it, ponies, I’m going to try to come and do a bit more of real blogging, not just random updates on my life every few months. I swear I have about 10 drafts, but for many reasons, I never got around actually finishing any, mainly because I had things I needed to get out of my system, and now that they’re out, I can go back to actually blogging and you guys can go back to expecting posts.

“With you, I found a new way to live, I see an alternative. Now we started, we can’t stop it. I, I didn’t mean to fall in love, last thing I was thinking of was you and me but, we collided…”

Love, ponies and other lovely things,

Firma

Using Clear to manage my expenses

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Clear is an App for iOS, if I am correct, it’s about $4.99, but those are the best I’ve spent in the AppStore. I have the app synchronized in both my iPad and iPhone,but even though you can have it on the Mac, I don’t really use it there.

Anyway, Clear is an app to make lists, and that on itself sounds pretty simple. I’ve used it in many different ways, as a “Books to read” and “Books to buy”, as a “Shopping list” and my favorite, as my “Monthly expenses”. All of these are basically lists with different purposes, and with a different rotation.

I’ve been using this system to keep control of my finances, of the bills I have to pay, and in general the money I have left to spare. It may be very simple, but now, I’m going to show you how to do it!

First of all, I get paid bi-monthly, so I log all of my monthly expenses along with their corresponding amount , and then, I cross the ones that I am planning on taking care of during the second part of the month.

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After this, I am left with the list of my current expenses. I can write reminders for each one, so I can remember the day I need to pay for them. Just be careful, cause if you’re planning on recycling the list for every month , the reminders will not reset. You have two options, 1- you reset them every time, or 2- don’t use them, and instead order your expenses by how urgent they are for you.

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What I always try to do is take care of everything as soon as possible, and then everything that’s left is mine to spend as I want. Once an element is covered, I swipe it to the right, it gets crossed, and moved to my inactive list.

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After the first part of the month comes by, I go back to my crossed elements, and swipe them to the right and bring them back to my active list. Once there, I sort them again and it starts again.

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This is basically it. It may be really simple, but it has helped me a lot to take control of my expenses. Also, one of the things that I really like about this app, is that you can use the colors to indicate the importance of the item.

I hope it helps you!!

Firma

Labeling my Stationery Drawers

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A few months back I made a post about my stationery drawers and how I used it to store my tape, stickers and post its, and I’ve been trying to find a way to label it in a cute and fun way.

Well, a few days ago, I went shopping, and got Dry Erase Tape and I just wanted to show you guys how it turned out.

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I got both Dry Erase and chalkboard tape, but I thought Dry erase would be less messy, considering all the dust chalk leaves behind.

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I’m using stripes of about 15cm long, just enough to cover the space at the front leaving small spaces on the sides and using a red whiteboard marker. I really hate not having black here.

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This is how they look without anything written on. I think it’s pretty nice, they erase very well, and don’t leave stains behind. Also if I ever want to remove the tape, it peels cleanly.

I really like that it’s a non-permanent way to label things.

Firma

Love List for the Ponicorn Soul: Asylum, Utena, Journaling and more

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Things have happened in my life in recent weeks, good and bad. I don’t think I’ll ever say much about the bad things (if I ever do at all) But let’s focus on the good ones, shall we? It’s been a while since the last time I actually did one of this, so let’s take it as a general update on my life.

  • I have more books and I actually became level 2 shopper at my local bookstore (that means, I get double the points for my purchases, which is good cause I can change them for more books, which is how I got Lena Dunham’s Not that kind of girl)
  • Speaking of books, I’m reading Asylum by Madeleine Roux, which is actually a big issue for me. I have a big problem with fear, and being easily scared, so reading this book, as absurd as it may sound, it’s actually a huge accomplishment for me, cause I am kind of exposing myself to something that scares me, and trying to control my responses. Those of you who might have read Asylum, maybe thinking I’m over reacting and the book is not as scary, and you may be right, but you guys don’t understand my struggle and how big of a deal this is for me; so I’m happy and all.
  • I know I have not really been here actively writing, but I’ve been Journaling a lot. I am actually holding two journals, my permanent one, and a journal on the go. I’ve been using my permanent Journal for a while now (picture below) It’s a regular hard cover notebook that I decorated and since I feel it is so personal, I really don’t think I’ll stop using it anytime soon. However, a week ago, I found a notebook that I really liked and I decided to use it as an On-the-go journal trying to document some thought and emotions I’ve been experiencing.

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  • Instagram! I’ve been a lot on Instagram lately! I’ve met some amazing people there, and it has help me get more into the Filofaxing/Journaling community. A long, long time ago, I read an article on Hello Giggles called How Scrapbooking stopped me from running away, and it really resonated with me, cause for a long time in my teenage years I kind of used my journals as scrapbooks, time passed, I started blogging and I eventually stopped using them at all. Now that I am into Filofaxing, I can tell you that it has a little bit of scrapbooking to it and I’m really enjoying it.

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  • Utena! I recently re-watched Utena with a friend and yes, I know I always say I love it and it’s one of my favorite animes ever, but now that I finally re-watched from start to end, I can very clearly remember why. It’s so amazing!! I don’t really like to talk too much about it here, but if you feel compelled to watch it and get your mind blow while you try to understand what is going on, be my guess, you won’t regret it at all.
  • I’m thinking about changing this site a bit. I’m not even sure, it comes and goes. For a while I thought I wanted to make some posts private cause I kinda wanted to hide things from my sight, then I figured I didn’t really care that much for it, but I wanted to change the general feeling of the site, so I don’t know. I might be changing things around soon. The least I can say is that it’s been in my head for a while, so it’s quite possible that it will happen.
  • Paleo Diet! For the last couple of weeks I’ve been trying to clean my eating habits, I’ve talked about it before, but candies and sweets are a big problem for me, so much that I always feel addicted to them, so, a couple of weeks ago, I decided to cut them from my life, and start eating a little better. So far it’s been 29 days since the last time I ate candies (I’ve had sweets from time to time, like birthdays and unavoidable situations) and I’m really happy. I’m trying to eat mostly paleo, but it’s really hard cause I have a Selective Eating Disorder that affects my consumption of fruits, so there’s that. But I’m not whipping myself because of it, I’m trying to actually enjoy it and all.
  • Guys, I seriously can’t stop listening to Chandelier. Send help.

I’m sure there are more updates my babes, but I’ll try to come back sooner to make actual posts about it, rather than lists with chunks of information.

Love,

Firma

P.S. Did you see Katy Parry tonight at the Super Bowl? Girl!!!! and Missy Elliot?? Amazing ladies being Amazing!!!

Colors of my life…

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Pink is my favorite color… Along with grey, and together they make me cheerful and happy. I love pink, but there’s nothing like a good grey. I love grey.

True fact is, that if you ever see me wearing a turquoise shirt, chances are, I slept wearing that. I don’t even know why, but it has become my favorite color to sleep in. My bedspread is turquoise, my blanket is turquoise. It soothes me.

Green and blue are the colors of my pictures. My favorite shades, my favorite tints…

Yellow is the color of my walls. All of my walls. I am surrounded.

Red is a color too elegant to wear.

Firma

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