Cycles

cycle definition

I used to say that if this moment in my life had a name, it would be “Cycle”. Everything was constant. Everything moved in a pattern, everything happened with the same purpose everyday. And yes, it was all divided in cycles. A Cycle for the day. A Cycle at Work. A Cycle for my week. A cycle every month. And I was actually ok with it.

Cycles are fine. Cycles are comfortable.

Everything was predictable to a certain degree. And I like predictable.

I was fine. It was a cycle and after all, all cycles create the illusion of stability.

Lately, things are not as cyclic as they had been for a while. I notice change, and it’s throwing me off-balance. Things are starting to take shape in a way that defies the status quo that’s been ruling my life for the past 3 or so years.

I know that around december I’m supposed to make life changing decision, and I’m thinking I’m ready to make it. And it seems as if things are arranging to force me into it. But I guess it’s fine. I guess it’s finally time to exit the cycle and my life is preparing me for it.

We’ll see what the next name will be.

Firma

The unbearable lightness of being

 

Spanish, cause I love it.

Tomorrow I’m lending my favorite book to my boyfriend. Together, we’ve done so many things, silly, cliché, serious and off-the-list, and I love it, but borrowing each other’s favorite book has not been one, until tomorrow.

Anyone reading this book sees into my soul, through the hardest years of my life, the biggest revelations, the lowest points. It is a big part of a really complex puzzle that shaped the woman I am today. And sharing it, with anyone, scares me a bit. It’s like being naked without really being naked.

So tomorrow, I’m going to hand it to him and in the process, I’m going to open up a side of my heart that I think I’d never open for anyone before.

Love,

 

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